Somehow I feel that there is tension around my chest as if some air is trapped and cannot be removed. A day without a maniac boss around is not as stressful as the days when she was here, but the post-stress cause by her presence is pretty tensional. I do blame her for taking away the fun of work at the centre. Banning the table viciously with death penalty face when she saw us having a brief discussion in an observation. Savaging people with her power being an boss when she realized she has not sufficient knowledge in discussing any academic issues. Anyway, so glad that she is away and I will try to enjoy my work for only a couple of days without her in presence in the office.
Almost have spent the whole two hours of time watching Youtube videos. Somehow, just by watching other writers' stories, that made me feel comforted. My fear towards writing is explicit in other's words. I feel I become no more vulnerable although in fact I still am.
I don't remember which video says so but it gave my neglect ion a touch :" when you don't how to write or what to write, go to experience something and live a life." I forgets to live my life especially when i am getting emotionally low and defeated. The experience with Alice, my boss, was not comparing to traumatic events like death or separation with your love but it was pretty anxiety related, bad energy generated. I don't hate her any more but want to keep far far away from her.
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