Terrible exam but a very good friend

Had a really big cry right after the exam. I felt so insecure and stupid with those statistics. Went angry with them first because I had no idea why those questions were asked. I held a scientific calculator but did not know how to use it properly. I did not want to cry because I would like anyone's sympathy but I did and some friends showed their care and sympathy. I cried like a little girl not loud but stubbornly. This was the first time I cried in three years because of the stress from study. Well, probably very first time since I was a kid I cried because I did badly for an exam. Like a baby, a kid... who wants what I wanted but could not get it, so I cried...
Sitting next to me is a good friend who said :' come on, you will try to do well next time." Damn, I will... Feeling so good when I felt so low and someone was trying to cheer me up... He is my friend.

Unsettle on Friday morning

For the last 3 or 4 months, Friday morning has always been like worship time when all the first year PhD, MPhil students go to sit in the lecture room and listen to some times rubbish lectures. But today's lecture was not bad really. It was thought provoking and actually I think I will probably pursue the topic further. However, what really triggered me today was the lunch time chat and afterward a short discussion with my boss about being a trouble maker. I apparently became a trouble maker here. My boss actually bluntly told me that I acutally behave in very westeren ways. my husband told me the same thing. It seems that I tried to make things simple but it got complicated.

To be continued

A lonely night.

A lonely night but I don't feel I am lonely anymore. David is off to his conference trip to England and I felt home alone to digest my prolonged and unproductive day. Didn't know what to do even after I had watched two soap operas and fliped through TV channels. Still nothing was really interesting to catch my attention and drag away my bad emotion for today. I felt lonely, then I decided to blog a little. Still too much emotion and didn't know where to start. There A heng went online. He is probably one of very few classmates who I would like to chat with volunteerily. A few jokes really made several difference. Then realized that Wilma phoned me... ah I am not lonely.. and so pleased that I do have friends here. Well, I do have friends anyway. I am not a horrible person, well depends on to whom. That's why I try to avoid people that I don't like that much. After talking, my whole emotional world changed... and now I feel tired...

Monday sickness

I feel slightly sick this morning, don't if it is because today is Monday.