This is the fourth day we haven't speak to each other. Feels so odd, but at the same time it is expected. It would be really rare for him to start to speak with me face to face. He likes a bit teasing and watering down everything. We are both stubborn, but this time I have to insist doing so because I do not want to take any his attitude anymore. Everytime, it was me who finds him and make over, at least last four or five times. This time, I will not and I think I deserve better than this. It is not that I can't do it again, but I think he does not really care much about it, or care enough about it. Marriage between us is more like old couple's. Eating and sleeping separately, avoiding seeing each other, arguing a lot during the weekend (we seldom have good weekend together). Together we watch a lot of videos, other than that we don't have any social life. He was never initiating to make friends other than people of the care group from his church. I was a total different person, not religious and like making friends. With him, I just feel I am a different person, somehow behaving the way he is expecting me to be given that he does not make any initiation of making new friends.
After talking with yara, I felt slightly better although that big knot is still hanging in my chest. I am going to hold on for another day because I know god knows how this will turn out. God, please give me wisdom and patience to deal with the tough situation right now. All will be well.
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