Thursday, June 18, 2009

An sulky evening

I am angry with myself that the evening went into a certain emotional dump for me. It started with me walking into the bathroom where he was taking a bath after watching Wang Xiaoshui's In Love We Trust. He asked me about the film and I told him about the film, but without me finishing, I could already see his impatience on his face. Expected he asked if I could keep an eye on some latest Chinese films for him because he needed form his work. No problem, of course. And I continued to tell him a few about several current director like Ning Hao, Lu Chuan. But he said nowadays the Chinese film was Nanjing Nanjing, and I corrected 'maybe there are actually other films as well like...". Maybe he didn't like my tone or so, the conversation sounded more and more like a competition until when we talked about a discussion on Wang Xiaoshuai's comment about directors of commercial films are not good directors. He mentioned 798 in Beijing was like that, I agreed but there was some disagreement on Ai Weiwei who is a famous Chinese artist, architecture and activist of human rights. We discussed some minor facts about him but the tension between us were rather heated. I just could not help noticing how much he wanted to sound that he knew more than I did. I really felt tired and even stressed about it. By now I don't even know if it is because of him or myself, I feel difficult to discuss with him about some simple subject. He needs absolute right, I need nice conversation although trying hard to ignore the difficulties with him.
The he dragged me to the bathtub, even so, that was not enough heat for us to enjoy much. Maybe I am down and saying so, what happened in the following didn't help with our intimacy at all. There was constant a few raw throughout until he picked on me putting feet on the bed. I lost my interests at all remaining engaging in any conversation with him and started to sulk until the fight broke up between us. What's wrong? I wish someone can help me to think here.

No comments: