So strange!

I don't know what love is anymore. I question about my marriage, is it really working? I don't think I am there anymore. Where we are staying is more like a shelter for me but not a home anymore. Am I been negative? Positively yes! Like what David said:" I could have made you move out!" Wow! I certainly know that he had that power of doing so, but I don't think I would be afraid of it really. I was preparing for the worst to happen. Now, I just feel everything is so so vague in my head. Our relationship. Is it really love? I don't know if I really love him anymore. I can't say I don't yet because I just don't know. I certainly enjoyed the trip with a bunch of new friends, but I am just not sure if I would like to go for the beach with the two men. One, with whom I have just had a huge fight with and didn't talk for about two weeks. Although we made up after me taking a few glasses of wine and him a few beers. Was that love, lust, simply just sex? I don't know how I should feel right now but I am questioning my marriage and asking myself if it is time to move on already. I don't know.